The Transpersonal Cinema Project

Exploring an Integral Approach to Multimedia Mental Health Interventions

2012-01-31T15:13:00.000-08:00

As part of the Integral Cinema Project’s outreachapplication process, I recently consulted on a multimedia mental healthintervention project at the University of Chicago and the University ofIllinois at Chicago Schools of Medicine helping them apply an Integral approachto deepen the power and effect of their intervention. The researchers alreadyhad intuitively fleshed out the need for an intervention that addressed theintentional, behavioral, cultural, and social dimensions of the issue at hand,namely helping teens at risk learn to become more resilient in the face of theoften daunting challenges of growing up in today’s fast moving and complicatedworld.

To help the research team apply and integrate these fourmain intervention dimensions in a more coordinated and effective way I createdan Integrally-Informed Sensory Synchronization Template for the project,mapping the four intervention dimensions of intentional, behavioral, cultural,and social across the multimedia expressive dimensions of Text, Image (still& moving), Sound, Time (accumulated meaning patterns), and Interactivity. Thisintegration of the intervention and expression dimensions included the mappingof desired affect patterns and their relationship to expressive modalitiesincluding textual linguistic and mimetic patterns; visual shapes, colors,tones, framing and space; audio modalities (dialogic, musical, atmospheric,effectual, etc.); and meaning patterns accumulated over time.

The goal of this approach was to help them coordinate theintervention across multiple modes of expression and perception to induce whatcinematic theorist Sergei Eisenstein called the synchronization of the senses, the process in which a message,synchronized across multiple expressive dimensions, achieves the power andforce of actual lived multi-sensory experience. This shift from mereinformation sharing to a deeply felt lived-experience has the potential toinduce deep change and transformation across all four dimensions of intention,behavior, relationship formation, and socialization patterns.

This research is still ongoing but initial results suggest agreat potential for this approach, and its application for use in multimediamental health interventions, and other multimedia transformational healingendeavors, including transformational learning, and individual and collectivehuman development applications.

Integral CinemaProject Researcher Report

By Mark Allan Kaplan, Ph.D.

Integral Acting Q & A – Part Two

2011-10-07T11:33:00.000-07:00

The following in an edited transcript of part 2 of a Q & A session I had with a young actor I am working with who was interested in my Integral Approach to acting:

Question: From past experiences with different actors on film, I get worried that I’m not getting the give and take that I deserve from them, that will help us be the best that we can be in that moment..? If I’m stuck with someone as a scene partner who isn’t giving their all, how can I get them to help me develop my character, as well as theirs in the manner they should?

Answer: From my perspective, worrying about what the other actor is or isn’t giving/doing/etc. is not your job as an actor. If you are bringing your best, deeply rooted in your character, your presence, energy, and beingness will lift every other actor to a higher level. I cannot count the number of times I have heard stories from actors how being in a scene with a great actor elevated their own performance beyond anything they could imagine. There is a term called “social contagion” which refers to the contagious nature of higher levels of presence and beingness in relation to human interaction. Your job is to be the character as deeply and fully as possible and interact with the other actors as other character-beings, no matter how flawed their beingness is.

Question: As an actor such as myself, what do you think develops first in becoming a character; The Physical or Mental or Emotional, etc?

Answer: This varies from acting school to acting school, and from actor to actor. The key to an Integral approach is to recognize that all four dimensions (physical/behavioral, experiential/intentional, relational/cultural, and environmental/sociological) co-arise. You can use any dimension as your entry point as long as you recognize and move into a place where all four dimensions co-exist simultaneously.

Integral Acting Q & A

2011-08-28T16:53:00.000-07:00

The following in an edited transcript of a Q & A session I had with a young actor I am working with who was interested in my Integral Approach to acting:

Question: What’s the best way to know one’s self as an actor?

Answer: That is a big and tricky question; one that every acting theorist, coach, etc. would answer a little differently depending on their approach, etc. Since human beings have varied ways of perceiving, what is the “best” way for one actor, may not be the best way for another actor. That said, my own humble opinion is that knowing yourself as a person is key; that is, becoming conscious of the many dimensions of your own being, gives you a strong foundation from which to study the dimensions of your characters’ being. Knowing your self and knowing the self of the character gives you powerful reference points of where you are at and where you need to go to become the character. For example, if you know how you perceive the world, how you relate to others, how your environment has and is impacting you, etc., and if you know these same aspects of your character, you will be able to develop a felt-sense of the difference between these two realms of beingness.

Question: Now I've heard of dimension before, but exactly does that mean?

Answer: As with your previous question, the issue of what dimensions we are talking about varies depending on what acting theory we are using. In my experience and research I have found that no matter what these different approaches call these dimensions or how many divisions they make, in essence they are all talking about the same basic realms. The approach I use is based on Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory, which is a metatheory that attempts to integrate all human knowledge, and according to this approach we can say that we as human beings have and exist within four main dimension-perspectives: 1. Intentional/Experiential: Our thoughts, feelings, awareness, consciousness, intentions, sense of self or “I”-ness – this includes our multiple lines of development (Cognitive, moral, emotional intelligence, creative abilities, etc.); 2. Behavioral/Physiological: Our bodies, actions, the objects and other bodies we interact with – this includes our physical limitations and gifts; 3. Relational/Cultural: Our cultural worldviews and identity, how we relate to others, or our way of being in relationships or our “WE”-ness; 4. Environmental/Sociological/Systemic: The ecological, political, economic, technological systems that we were born into, grown up in and now operate in and how they have and continue to shape us. Here is a chart from my journal article on Integral Cinema that summarizes these dimensions in relation to a character:

For more on these dimensions and the Integral approach, see my Integral Cinema Studio Series at IntegralLife.com: The Holonic Lens; The Quadratic Lens; and The Developmental Lens.

Question: In your Integral Cinema Studio article on the Holonic Lens you state: “Cinematic holons also have positive, neutral, or negative charges, much like atomic particles. At the level of text, an example of positive and negative charges can be illustrated by the energetic difference between moments of affinity and conflict between characters.” Can you please clarify negative, neutral, or positive; in what aspect; for a film maker or a character?

Answer: Holons are a useful perceptual lens for all aspects of cinema (and life), recognizing that every moment, every experience is a whole in and of itself, and at the same time all the past moments and experiences in your life (or the life of your character) are part of that whole moment/experience as well (i.e., everything that happened to you is part of the whole of who you are right now)…and this whole NOW moment/experience you are having will become a part of you as you move forward into other whole moments/experiences. When we are talking in terms of “charges” connected to these whole/part moments/experiences, as related to a character: Your character can be having a negative (i.e., fear, hate, anger), neutral (i.e., indifference, detachment), or positive (i.e., love, joy, wonder) emotional experience in any given moment. This moment is experienced as a whole unto itself, yet under the surface, deep within the characters unconscious, all the other moments in their lives that resonate with this moment help to color their experience in the present (i.e., in an onscreen moment your character may be feeling love for another character, while at the same time every other experience of love in their life is swirling inside them under the surface…so for example, if your character has had bad love experiences in the past, their present moment of love may bring up a tiny quiver of fear inside them. This fear may not be easily seen on the surface, but a great actor can feel this and energetically project this undercurrent to the audience). This performance moment then becomes a positively charged whole moment with a subtextual negative charge as a part of it…a holon…a whole/part.

The Integral Cinema Studio Series at Integral+Life.com

2011-06-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

Announcing the INTEGRAL CINEMA STUDIO article series at Integral Life...

The Integral Cinema Studio at Integral Life is an article series on the application of Integral Theory to cinematic media theory and practice.

Integral Theory is a metatheory that offers several perspective-taking frameworks or lenses of perception through which we can perceive, experience, and integrate the multiple dimensions of existence. In this series of articles I will be exploring applying these various Integral lenses to the creation and viewing of cinematic media, which I am defining as any media that uses moving (kinetic) images as a means of expression.

This series is written with a general audience in mind and no prior knowledge of either Integral or cinematic theory is required. My hope is that there is something here for the novice and the expert, for the artist, theorist, and the average viewer of cinematic media in all its forms, and for those on the journey to better understand their self, culture, and world.

The first Integral lens I am exploring is the HOLONIC lens. To view this article click here.

INTEGRAL CINEMA STUDIO: THE HOLONIC LENS

Please join me in this exploration of the further reaches of the cinematic arts...

Special Thanks to Ken Wilber, Corey DeVos, David Riordan, Michael Schwartz, and all the gang at Integral Life for the inspiration and support, and for providing this wonderful platform for sharing my work.

Images: Integral+Life Logo; The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

Communicating Meaning Through Art

2011-06-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

As an artist of many different mediums (film, drawing, text, photography) I can honestly say that on one level it feels like a miracle when a viewer understands my work in the way that I intended it. And there is often another miracle, when the viewer sees something in my work that I did not consciously intend, but when they speak their truth it rings true for me as well.

I have studied the language of my mediums and how each of their material elements communicate differently across cultures and societies; I have studied the psychology of how individuals perceive and view art; I have studied symbols, metaphors, and archetypes across cultures; and I have studied how different states and stages of development in the viewer and the work communicate with each other. I believe all of these are factors in how the artist communicates to the viewer.

Yet, there is also something else involved here; something I learned in the form of both direct experience and teachings from some of the masters of art I have studied with over the years...this something else is that the more a creative work comes from a deeply personal meaningful place in the artist, the more universal its meaning becomes. This is the great paradox of art and meaning; the more personal the work the more universal and the less personal the work the less universal. Actor and playwright Sam Sheppard said it beautifully when he spoke to my class at the AFI many years ago. He said that if an artist starts with a deeply human truth, one from their own experience or one from the life of another, then the work becomes universal because what is true for one human heart resonates with all other human hearts.

As a practitioner of art as an integral spiritual practice, I also see myself as a creative channel for the Divine. When I align myself with the Creative Source as the Divine Suchness, Thou and I AM, the Source speaks through me into the work and out to the viewer. From this perspective, in addition to my own personal meaning being expressed in and through the work, I believe there is a higher meaning being channeled through me and the work that I most often am not even conscious of. Sometimes I discover this meaning when a viewer shares what they received from the work; other times, years later, I discover this hidden meaning when viewing my work from a different place in my own life journey. In the end, each individual views the work from where they are at on their live journey and when a work of art is a channeled work; I believe it has the capacity to become a kind of magic mirror in which the viewer receives the message that is perfect for them at that particular moment on their life path.

From an Integral perspective, I would say that meaning in art is tetra-resonant, in that a work of art can have subjective, material, cultural, and/or social resonance. This resonance channels meaning between the work of art and the viewer, and one can gauge the general message of the art work through any and all of these resonance channels/dimensions. The more this meaning is rooted in a deep truth in any and all of these dimensions, the more universal the message becomes.

In the end, as an artist I never know for sure beforehand if my intended meaning will translate to others; I can only strive to speak the truth as I perceive and feel it and attempt to communicate it through as many resonance channels and dimensions as possible. I have found that I feel that I have communicated with the audience if I have touched them somehow, and I have come to feel that the reception of my intended meaning is not as important as the reception of the meaning that arises through the wondrous and miraculous process of channeling the creative force…

*Image: Enlightenment by Diana Calvario (dicalva)

The Birth of Integral Cinema

2011-05-21T19:08:00.000-07:00

La Coquille et le Clergyman (1928)

The term integral cinema was first used by French avant-garde filmmaker Germaine Dulac in the 1920s. Dulac employed this term to describe cinema that utilized the natural inherent language of the cinema to evoke the interior life normally hidden beneath the exterior life of the objective world (Flitterman-Lewis, 1996). This form of cinema was also called pur cinema or visual music, because of the contention by its adherents that the language of the cinema is a language all its own, more related to music or poetics, than to literature or drama. In order to liberate the cinematic image from literary or dramatic expression, “…Dulac sought to create for the spectator a ‘cinegraphic sensation’ that could be achieved through the contemplation of pure forms in movement—the melodic arrangement of luminous reflections, the rhythmic ordering of successive shots” (Flitterman-Lewis, 1996, pp. 69-70).

While Dulac’s theoretical writings and public discourses on integral cinema mostly focus on this definition, her films reveal two distinct types of cinematic approaches. Whereas some of her films did seek to explore pure visual music approaches of using cinematic imagery, movement, and rhythm to reveal the interior life, films like her 1928 classic, La Coquille et le Clergyman (The Seashell and the Clergyman), reveal the raw beginnings of a more comprehensive or “integral” approach that attempts to use the inherent language of the cinema to capture and express the interior and exterior lives of both the individual and the collective. Dulac hints at this approach when she writes, “It isn’t enough to simply capture reality in order to express it in its totality; something else is necessary in order to respect it entirely, to surround it in its atmosphere, and to make its moral meaning perceptible…” (Dulac, as cited in Flitterman-Lewis, 1996, p. 49).

This more comprehensive approach hauntingly captures some of the constructs of Jean Gebser’s integral worldview (1985) and Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory (1995) while predating both by 21 and 67 years, respectively. These Integral constructs, as elementarily expressed in Dulac’s La Coquille et le Clergyman, include rudimentary cinematic representations of Gebser’s aperspectival structures of the concretion of time and interiority, and Wilber’s Integral framework of multiple dimension-perspectives with evolving levels of depth and complexity. More recent examples of these types of cinematic structures include: The concretion of time in films like Groundhog Day (1993), where concrete shifts in time affect objective and subjective realities; the concretion of interiority in films like The Matrix (1999), where individual and collective subjective realities are given concrete forms; and multiple dimension-perspectives of evolving depth and complexity in films like Inception (2010), where the characters move through different dimensions of reality as they evolve toward deeper levels of understanding and being.

While Dulac’s integral cinema movement was a significant contribution to the evolution of the cinema in many ways, it was also short-lived due to several factors. In 1928, the year that Dulac made La Coquille et le Clergyman in France, Hollywood released the first talking picture, The Jazz Singer (1927), and ushered in the sound film era. For many film theorists and historians, the introduction of sound marked the downfall of the artistic trailblazing of the silent film era as cinematic artists attempted to adjust and adapt to the new technological advancement, and audiences became enthralled by the heightened sense of reality of the talking picture (Andrew, 1976). The following year Luis Buñuel and Salvador Dalí made Un Chien Andalou (1929), which took the avant-garde cinema world by storm and established a precursor of postmodern relativism and meaning deconstruction as the center of gravity for the artistic worldview of experimental cinema, overshadowing Dulac’s more integral vision (Ebert, 2000; Short, 2008).

Finally, since Dulac operated from an unconscious expression of a worldview that had yet to be named or theoretically mapped, her integral vision ultimately fell dormant. Wilber notes that some kind of prescient emergence of integral consciousness appeared sporadically throughout Western civilization in the early to mid-20th century. Examples of this emergence include Sri Aurobindo’s Integral Yoga (1921/1990), Jacques Maritain’s Integral Humanism (1996), and Vladimir Soloviev’s Integral Christianity (Kostalevsky, 1997). Wilber also notes that these integral visions, along with Dulac’s, were short-lived because they were initial emergences not supported in all four fundamental domains of experiential, material, cultural, and social realities (Wilber, personal communication, July 20, 2010).

Beginning in the mid-1990s, concurrent with the dissemination of Wilber’s Integral Theory, there has been a growing movement of individuals and groups who have been applying integral principles to their personal and professional lives. In the domain of the cinematic arts, scholar-practitioners have explored the application of Integral Theory to cinematic story creation, acting, and video game design (Melody, 2008; Ornst, 2008; Silbiger, 2010). In addition, several cinematic artists have begun to explore and engage in dialogue about Integral Theory in relation to both their personal and professional lives (Aronofsky & Davis, 2006; Brill & Wilber, 2006; Crichton & Wilber, 2004; Konietzko & Davis, 2007; Ormond & Wilber, 2004; Stone & Wilber, 2007; Wachowski & Wilber, 2004). Wilber’s Integral Theory was also an inspiration to filmmakers Larry and Andy Wachowski (Wachowski & Wilber, 2004) in the development of The Matrix (1999), The Matrix Reloaded (2003), and The Matrix Revolutions (2003). The Wachowski brothers also invited Wilber to record a commentary on the films for The Ultimate Matrix Collection (2004), a complete DVD set of the films. Nearly three quarters of a century after Dulac’s work, many people within the integral and cinematic arts communities are raising the same question that Dulac asked many years ago: “What is Integral Cinema?”

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This material is an adapted excerpt from: Kaplan, M. A. (2010). Toward an integral cinema: The application of integral theory to cinematic media theory and practice. Journal of Integral Theory and Practice, 5(4), 112-138. Copyright © 2010 by Integral Institute. The complete article is available for download at Integral+Life.com.

Germaine Dulac’s La coquille et le clergyman is available for viewing online in its entirety at: http://www.ubu.com/film/dulac_coquille.html

The Radiance of Dorothy Fadiman

2011-05-01T18:05:00.000-07:00

Dorothy Fadiman is one of the pioneers in Transpersonal Filmmaking and her film “RADIANCE: The Experience of Light” is considered a classic in the field. RADIANCE is both a cinematic expression of Fadiman’s own personal transcendent experience of Divine Light and a visual/poetic exploration of the spiritual significance of light and “radiance.” Here, in Fadiman’s own words, is the story of how this great work was born:

My husband and I create a simple ritual, we take turns drinking from a goblet, gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes, and each take some excellent acid. It’s the 60’s… We know our dealer, and we trust that we have taken good quality (legal at that time…) LSD. As our inner worlds expand, and deepen, I lay down, l close my eyes and start to breathe deeply, as my heart opens and… I hear a voice…inside my head, speaking to me: “May I fill you with Light?’

I have no idea who or what is speaking to me and in this moment, it doesn’t matter.

Whatever it is, I trust it. When you are in this state, where everything is connected to everything…whatever is happening seems right… and I say YES.

With the word “yes” my entire body begins filling with LIGHT, A BRILLIANT CASCADE …of light. A waterfall of radiance flows through me, every cell of my body is filled with this light. As the brilliance becomes almost unbearably intense…then, Jim reaches out and touches me… Suddenly, it STOPS… His touch pulls me back into the room…. I remember saying “What are you doing?????” It’s a moment I refer to now, affectionately, as “Illuminatus Interruptus,” but, in THAT moment, THEN, I am shocked.

Looking back, I know now that I was not ready to receive any more of light than when it stopped after Jim touched me…I realize now that the intention of this cascade was not only to infuse me with light… which it did, but also for me to be able to bring this light back, into my own world….like I am doing now, to tell people about it.

I spend the next ten years raising two daughters while trying to write a book about light. The dirty laundry piles up for days at a time, the dented grey file cabinets fill with my research about light, when the girls are in school, I sneak away to the basement of the art library at Stanford and spend hours under glaring fluorescent lights searching for images of radiant saints and glowing angels as I struggle to write my book.

Finally, after ten years of trying to complete my mission to tell this story with pictures and words on paper, there is a knock on our door. Literally, standing there, is a filmmaker. He says, “I heard what you’ve been trying to do, to write a book about light. Did you ever think of making a movie???”

With his help, I make my first film RADIANCE: The Experience of Light. Since then I have produced more than 25 films...each, in its own way, infused with the "light". The guidance which appeared to me during the experience of light more than 40 years ago, is with me today, every day.

RADIANCE: The Experience of Light can be viewed online at:
http://dorothyfadiman.com/radiance-the-experience-of-light
or downloaded at:
http://www.archive.org/details/Radiance_The_Experience_Of_Light

ABOUT the FILMMAKER

Dorothy Fadiman has been producing award-winning media with a focus on social justice and human rights since 1976. Most of her films have been shown on PBS and in Festivals throughout the world. For more about Dorothy and her work, visit her websites at: www.concentric.org and www.dorothyfadiman.com

Notes on Transcinema

2011-04-09T21:33:00.000-07:00

There are two uses of the term “transcinema.” One is used to refer to films about transgender issues and is usually spelled “trans-cinema;” the other usage, spelled “transcinema,” refers to creative works that use cinematic expression as part of a hybrid creative work, usually a combination of live performance and projected cinematic imagery.

The transcinema movement can be traced back to avant-garde art movements in the 60s and had a resurgence back in the late 90s and early part of the 2000s. This later expression appears to be connected to the introduction of digital media technologies and a greater cultural movement of convergence in media platforms. This movement can also be correlated to Integral and transpersonal cultural and creative trends in that it is boundary transcending (transpersonal) and represents a striving toward an integrated multi-dimensional mode of expression (Integral).

During my research into this area I discovered several patterns that appear to be unique to this form of hybrid cinema. It seems that once you start combining live performance and imagery and sound, audiences gets hooked on it and the absence of one or more of these elements must be used with extreme purpose and prejudice.

There is also a natural expectation of a “third and fourth story” beyond the story of the performance and the story on the screen; there is the story of their convergence (the convergence story) and the container for this convergence (the spatial story).

In addition, the audience tends to expect and anticipate a build in convergence between the live performance and the cinematic projections as the piece unfolds; they also tend to anticipate a convergence climax. Of course, the transcinema artist/team, have the choice to fulfill this pattern or consciously play against it, either subtly or overtly.

Announcing the Integral Cinema Project's Affiliation with the Integral Research Center

2011-02-18T13:38:00.000-08:00

The Integral Cinema Project is now affiliated with the Integral Research Center (IRC). The IRC’s mission is to support the advancement of Integral Research (IR) and the global community of Integral scholar-practitioners through a variety of activities including: Supporting Integral research projects through grants and support services; providing a forum and resources for the Integral research community; supporting graduate level education and fieldwork in Integral studies; publishing academic articles and original research through special issues of Journal of Integral Theory and Practice; and by sponsoring the bi-annual Integral Theory Conference.

Integral Research is an emerging approach to mixed methods that is explicitly grounded in Integral Theory and makes use of its post-metaphysical position and its practice of Integral Methodological Pluralism to provide a multi-method approach that weaves together 1st-person, 2nd-person, and 3rd-person methods. IR makes use of multiple methods (qualitative and quantitative) as a way of exploring the multi-faceted and multi-dimensional nature of complex phenomena.

Toward an Integral Cinema

2011-02-01T15:20:00.000-08:00

Announcing the publication of…

Towards an Integral Cinema:
The Application of Integral Theory to Cinematic Media Theory and Practice

By Mark Allan Kaplan, Ph.D.

ABSTRACT: Germaine Dulac’s “integral cinema movement” of the 1920s and her integral cinematic work, La Coquille et le Clergyman (1928), are analyzed from a historical and theoretical perspective. Results suggest an early introduction of integral consciousness into cinematic media that corresponds to and predates the integral theories of both Jean Gebser and Ken Wilber. Defining characteristics of what may constitute an integral cinematic work are mapped out and developed into a set of evaluation criteria using the works of Dulac, Gebser, and Wilber. A test of these evaluation criteria with the viewing of several motion pictures is summarized; the results suggest that several past and recent films demonstrate qualities that could be said to constitute an integral cinematic work. A preliminary typology of forms of integral cinematic creation, and the potential benefits and challenges for the application of Integral Theory to cinematic theory and practice are presented and discussed.

Published in The Journal of Integral Theory and Practice, 2010, Volume 5, Number 4, Pages 112-138.

The complete article is available for download at:

The SUNY Press eBookStore

Transformative Creation States

2011-01-12T15:59:00.000-08:00

I have been researching what I call transformative creation-states for several years now. By this I mean the use of spiritual, transpersonal, and integral approaches for creative expression to induce altered states of consciousness in order to intentionally convert the creative act into a deeply transformative experience for both the artist and the viewer.

During my research in this area I have discerned several discreet transformative creation-states including creative inspiration-states, catharsis-states, visioning-states, witnessing-states, resonance-states, integration-states, and states of creative grace. I also observed and experienced various group creation states including creative group fields and I-Thou creation states in which members of the creative environment become the “sacred other.”

In addition, during this inquiry I also found a confluence of both structure and flow in the transformative creative process, manifesting within, around, and between any and all of these various transformative creation states. There also appears to be a process in which these two state typologies converge, leading to a transformative creative synthesis of structure and flow.

For example, in my own creative work (film, writing, drawing, etc.), I have found that I can approach the transformative-creative act from a pure flow approach (mindfulness/beingness approach) or from a pure structure approach (e.g., applying sacred rituals and practices or esoteric spiritual structures like Kabbalistic Divine-creation patterns). When I really click into either one of these two creation-state typologies a synthesis appears to occur: The flow-process produces previously hidden structures, and the structure-process leads to a kind of structure-flow experience in which Divine energy appears to move through the structures and, if I am open to it, takes me into a flow through the structures along with it. These experiments have led me to play with a synthesis approach, consciously marrying flow and structure in a sacred-creative dance.

Looking at this triangulation pattern through the masculine/feminine typology lens, the flow-process can be correlated to the feminine, the structure-process correlated to the masculine, and the synthesis of the two can be seen as a union of the deep masculine and feminine.

The Birth of Trans-Opera: The Convergence of Cinema and Opera

2010-03-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

A new form of opera emerged recently. For this year’s production of the Barber of Seville, the Florida Grand Opera company blazed new territory by using an animated digital screen backdrop for their production, adding depth, movement, and cinematic immersion to classic opera. This animated digital backdrop added evolving background environments replete with changes in location, light, and weather. It also added shadow characters that interacted with the live actors on stage, from groups of musicians and soldiers to a lone alley cat. Beyond these dimensions, the animated background also appeared to add greater symbolic and thematic depth to the relatively simple story of the Barber of Seville. Then, in the final moments of the opera, something even more wondrous occurred. The actors climbed up the steps of the central set piece and in the digital background, giant animated wings unfolded and began to flap. The juxtaposition between the animated backdrop and the live action actors and set pieces created the effect of flying to the heavens. The audience let out a collective gasp and for a few brief moments the stage was transcended and the audience, actors, and set pieces soared.

This convergence of opera with digital cinematic elements created a new multi-dimensional form of entertainment that could be called “trans-opera.” The birth of this new opera-cinematic hybrid is the work of French Director Renaud Doucet and Canadian Production Designer Andre Barbe, with the technical help of Miami’s Lava Studios. The impetus for the birth of this new approach came out of current financial constraints, and from these limits an artistic phoenix has risen. I feel honored to have personally witnessed this event.

Integral Cinema Presentation

2010-02-24T08:18:00.000-08:00

Integral Cinema Project lead researcher Mark Allan Kaplan, Ph.D. has been selected to present preliminary research findings and theories on the the application of Integral Theory to cinematic media theory and practice at the 2010 Integral Theory Conference.

The Integral Theory Conference 2010. July 29 through August 1, 2010. Pleasant Hill, California.

Integral Cinema Blog on Integral Life

2009-12-29T12:07:00.000-08:00

Postings of Integral Cinema Project preliminary research findings can be found here and at Mark Allan Kaplan's Integral Life Integral Cinema Blog. Mark's Integral Life blog has received Integral Life's Editors Choice recognition for two months in a row.

TCP IndieGoGo Funding Launch

2009-02-21T13:48:00.001-08:00

The Transpersonal Cinema Project IndieGoGo fundraising site is now open for funding at:
http://www.indiegogo.com/transpersonalcinemaproject?iggref=CAGN_PJLC

Project Advisor Announcement: James Fadiman Ph.D.

2009-02-08T15:42:00.000-08:00

James Fadiman Ph.D. has agreed to be an advisor on The Transpersonal Cinema Project. James is a celebrated author, psychological researcher, corporate consultant, and an adjunct professor at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, which he co-founded. He is also one of the founders of the transpersonal movement, one of the first lecturers at Esalen Institute, and one of the early pioneers in psychedelics research, along with Ram Dass and Timothy Leary. James’s areas of specialization are altered states of consciousness, creativity, human potential, personal and organizational problem solving, Sufi storytelling, transformative fiction, and transpersonal theory. You can learn more about James at: http://www.jamesfadiman.com/index.html.

Project Advisor Announcement: Bruce Block

2009-02-03T17:02:00.000-08:00

Bruce Block has agreed to be an advisor on The Transpersonal Cinema Project. Bruce is an adjunct professor at the University of Southern California’s School of Cinematic Arts, where he has taught graduate level classes in visual structure for the past 30 years. His book, “The Visual Story,” now in its second edition, is used worldwide by students and professionals working in motion pictures, television, advertising and video game design. Bruce also teaches visual structure at the AFI and UCLA, and his seminars on visual structure have been presented to companies including PIXAR Studios, The Walt Disney Company, DreamWorks Animation, Nickelodeon Studios, Hasbro Interactive, Hewlett Packard, Blue Sky Studios, DirecTV and The Binger Film Institute. His credits include production and creative consulting on numerous film projects including As Good As It Gets, What Women Want, The Holiday, Alfie, Stuart Little, The Great Outdoors, Pretty in Pink, The Parent Trap, Father of the Bride I & II, and Baby Boom. You can learn more about Bruce at: http://www.bruceblock.com/.

Project Advisor Announcement: Arthur Hastings, Ph.D.

2009-02-02T16:21:00.000-08:00

Arthur Hastings, Ph.D. has agreed to be an advisor on The Transpersonal Cinema Project. Arthur is a Professor at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology where he is the Research Director for the Institute and the Director of the William James Center for Consciousness Studies. He is also a former faculty Chair for the Residential programs, former Dean and President of the Institute, and a Past President of the Association for Transpersonal Psychology. Arthur’s areas of specialization are altered states of consciousness, parapsychology, research methods, and transpersonal theory. He has conducted pioneering research on audio brainwave entrainment, channeling, hypnotic trance induction, and the psychomantium experience. You can learn more about Arthur at: http://www.arthurhastings.com/.

Mark Allan Kaplan: Recipient of 2008 Integral Life Award

2009-01-29T16:22:00.001-08:00

TCP Lead Researcher, Mark Allan Kaplan, is the recipient of the 2008 Integral Life Award! The IL Award is an annual merit-based scholarly award given by the Integral Institute. Mark received the award in recognition of his demonstrated potential and capacity to make a difference in the world through the application of integral principles in his personal, professional, and academic endeavors.

Cinematic Evolution

2009-01-11T21:14:00.000-08:00

Citizen Kane (1941)

One of the most memorable days of my life was when motion picture director and editor Robert Wise spent the afternoon with me going over the rough cut of one of my films. As Bob went through every cut with me and shared his wisdom I kept thinking to myself “My God, the man who edited Citizen Kane (1941) is helping me edit my film!” I learned so much from Bob that day, both about filmmaking and about life. One of these “Wise” lessons was his sharing with me his perceptions about a possible connection between the evolution of consciousness and the evolution of the cinema.

Over his illustrious 60-year career, Bob observed that the perceptual consciousness of the cinematic audience appeared to advance along with the cinema in the ability to communicate more information, in more abstract forms, within shorter durations of time. He explained that when he first started in the film industry the motion picture audiences required very clear linear story structures, and that gradually throughout his career, the audiences seemed to develop the ability to more readily and quickly project meaning across discontinuous and non-linear cinematic structures.

To illustrate one aspect of this evolution, Bob used the example of a cinematic sequence that has a character driving to another character’s house for a meeting. In the old days filmmakers had to show the person driving the car, stopping the car, getting out of the car, walking up to the house, knocking on the door, and then going inside. Gradually over time, the audience has advanced to the point of being able to accept a direct cut from a person driving a car to them suddenly being inside someone’s house. Wise believed that these advancements in both cinematic expression and the perceptual consciousness of the cinematic audience were the product of an interdependent and co-evolutionary relationship between the cinema and the audience. This observation appears to concur with Jean Gebser’s (1986) contention that artistic movements and trends have a tendency to influence and be affected by the evolution of consciousness.

At the end of our time together, Bob was called away quickly, but before he left the editing room, he paused to tell me how wonderful my work was and then said, “I hope I helped you a little bit…” Of course, I profusely and sincerely thanked him, and as he walked off I felt a mysterious shift inside me. In that brief moment, it seemed as though I had received a kind of shaktipat, or life lesson energetic transmission, from this amazing man. After all the awards, honors and accolades, Bob Wise was still a sweet and deeply humble human being, and his living presence and example penetrated me in ways I still cannot describe. I will never forget that moment, and every moment I was blessed by his presence. In my heart and mind, I believe Bob Wise was a true Cinematic Bodhisattva.

Integral Cinema Project - Project Status

2009-01-04T06:59:00.000-08:00

The Integral Cinema Project is currently in the theory building stage, exploring the application of Integral Theory to cinematic media development, production, and distribution, under the auspices of Integral Institute's and Fielding Graduate University's Certificate Program in Integral Studies.

Eli Stone and Transpersonal Television

2009-01-01T22:39:00.000-08:00

There have been many wonderful television shows dealing with transpersonal themes over the years, including The Twilight Zone (Alternate Realities), Quantum Leap (Time Travel), The X-Files (Alien Encounters), Touched by an Angel (Angels), and Joan of Arcadia (Divine Guidance). There are also several superb transpersonal television shows currently on the air, including Lost (Metaphysical Realities), Life (Zen), Life on Mars (Time Travel), Heroes, Kyle-XY (Exceptional Human Capacities), and Eli Stone (Divine Guidance).

While all of these shows are excellent transpersonal television journeys, I believe Eli Stone must be singled out as one of televisions transpersonal masterpieces. The reason I believe Eli Stone deserves this mantle, is that it not only explores a transpersonal topic with great depth, grace, wit, and integrity, it also has the capacity to give the viewing audience a powerful experience of higher and illusive states of being. How often does a TV show induce a deep sense of grace, hope and faith in the face of life’s haunting mysteries? This is very rare…so I say, BRAVO to the creators of Eli Stone! But I also have to give a big BOO to the network (ABC) who never gave the show the chance it deserved and canceled this gem of television enlightentainment.

TCP on IndieGoGo

2008-12-30T20:29:00.000-08:00

The Transpersonal Cinema Project is now on IndieGoGo at: http://www.indiegogo.com/transpersonalcinemaproject

Once complete, the TCP IndieGoGo site will act as a project funding, promotion, and social networking hub for those interested in supporting and/or participating in The Transpersonal Cinema Project.

Synchronization of the Senses

2008-12-29T18:06:00.000-08:00

Renowned Russian filmmaker and film theory pioneer Sergei Eisenstein (1898-1948) postulated that the unique nature of the cinema produces a holistic and transcendent "synchronization of the senses" through the "integration of word, image and sound, and the accumulation of successive images and sounds [that serve] to construct perception, meaning, and emotion". After years of cinematic experimentation and "a thorough analysis of the nature of audiovisual phenomena," Eisenstein believed that the conscious manipulation of this sensory synchronization could allow the filmmaker to converse with his or her audience on higher, deeper, and subtler levels of communication by more closely replicating the multidimensional sensory stimulation of actual lived experience.

An example of the power of this consciously controlled sensory synchronization can be found in the film Chariots of Fire (1981). In this British cinema classic, the filmmakers combine the images and sounds of the experience of running with an emotionally expressive musical score to viscerally communicate the peak experience of running. When this synchronization of image, sound, and music integrates with the film’s plot, performances, and dialogue, the audience is able to experience the ephemeral and transformative emotions involved in the physical and spiritual struggle for glory.

Celluloid Calling

2008-12-28T19:46:00.000-08:00

Progress, 1974

All through my childhood, I struggled with finding a way to communicate with others. My stutter made verbal communication difficult and emotionally painful, and I searched for others ways of expressing myself. I began to draw at an earlier age, studying at the Art Institute of Chicago between the ages of nine and eleven. Gradually expanding into painting, still photography, and architectural design, I received numerous awards for my work. When I was sixteen I took a film class in high school. I teamed up with a friend, and we made a super 8 film together for our final project (Progress, 1974). I loved creating the film, and felt a sense of joy and purpose. When we showed the film in class, people laughed and cried. I felt a chill shoot up and down my spine as the flickering light and dancing celluloid images touched the hearts and minds of others. Time appeared to stand still, and I experienced a feeling of deep connection with everyone in the room. I also had a sense of great mystery, as though I had become a channel for something greater than myself. Suddenly, I knew that this was my path, my gift, my calling.

TCP Website Update

2008-12-28T18:28:00.000-08:00

The newest version of The Transpersonal Cinema Project website was launched today at: http://www.transpersonalcinema.com/

Seeing the Light

2008-12-25T19:48:00.000-08:00

For the moment, look at cinema as a mystery religion. One enters the darkened place and joins the silent congregation. Then comes the beam of light out of the shadows: the Projector, the Great Projector up there behind us! Turn out the little lights so that the big light can penetrate the darkness! Ah, behold the unreeling of the real reality of practically everything: our dreams, our idiocies and raptures, our nativity, passion and death.

- James Broughton (Seeing the Light, 1986)

TCP YouTube Channel Launch

2008-12-23T20:05:00.000-08:00

The Transpersonal Cinema Project YouTube Channel (Beta) is up and running at: www.youtube.com/transpersonalcinema

Seeking the Heart of Darkness

2008-12-19T12:24:00.000-08:00

There is violence in the media. There is violence in the streets. My mind has been asking why… what is cause and what is effect? I have tried to rid my thoughts and actions of violence. I have boycotted violent films and the evening news. I have prayed for peace within and without. Yet I have come to see that I am in the realm of aversion and repression.

Is the violence in the media and in our streets from our collective repression of our fear of death and pain and suffering? In many cultures there are rituals around death and dying. Is our collective unconscious giving us the experiences we are not giving ourselves?

For weeks I thought about seeing Schindler's List (1993) yet the idea of the intense physical and psychological horrors I might see held me back. Finally I decided to create a spiritual practice. As I entered the theater I asked God (Higher Power, etc.) to use this experience for my awakening and healing around my perceptions of the body. As I watched blood spiriting out of a man's head I did not turn away. I allowed the waves of emotions to sweep over me as scores of naked human beings waited to be either showered with deadly gas or cleansing water. I cried as the acts of love and kindness amidst this vast darkness appeared like golden flowers rising from the mud. After the film I sat outside in front of a fountain. All the trials and tribulations of my life were gone. The beauty and impermanence of everything around me washed my mind.

Schindler's List (1993)

Within this journey through the darkness there was love and hope and beauty. I also found both the darkness and the beauty inside my self. And for a moment they merged into a sort of sweet sorrow.

Now I am seeking a way not to condone yet not to abhor the violence around me. I wonder if I can use it to seek the violence in me and use its dark mud to grow the golden flowers of light.

I have noticed my own tendency to see Transpersonal films in terms of films of light and not of darkness. Yet now I can think of several films, which are clearly transpersonal odysseys through darkness. There are films which show the triumph of the human spirit through the dark horrors of existence (Schindler's List, 1993); films which take us to the horrors and madness deep inside us (Apocalypse Now, 1979); and films which take us through the darkness of our minds on our way to the light (Jacob's Ladder, 1990).

But perhaps every journey through darkness and violence can be consciously used for our own healing. And perhaps as we make this journey and face our fears, the external manifestations will dissolve into the golden lotus growing up from the dark mud.

(Originally published in Focus: The Quarterly Newsletter of the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, Winter, 2-3, 1994)

The Medium is the Transpersonal

2008-12-18T23:15:00.000-08:00

What is the connection between the Transpersonal and Cinema? Perhaps the very nature of any creative media is Transpersonal. Film and video, as well as all the arts . . . are ultimately the ideas, thoughts, and feelings of a "personal" mind (or minds) being extended outward to other minds. At this level we might say that the "medium is the message."

In the particular case of film, we have a medium steeped in alchemy, mythology, illusion, magic, and transcendence. When audiences first saw the image of a speeding train projected on a screen in front of them, they leaped from their seats and ran out of the theater screaming. A French magician made films in which people disappeared, became transparent, and flew to the moon. Like an ancient religious ritual we enter a darkened place in silence. As we sit before the giant alter, a great light slices the darkness and transforms the two-dimensional screen before us into a three-dimensional world.

Beyond the transpersonal nature of the medium itself, are some films more transpersonal than others? Surely films about angels (It's A Wonderful Life, 1946), life after death (Ghost, 1990), altered states (Altered States, 1980), dreams (Kurosawa's Dreams, 1990), archetypes (Star Wars, 1977), UFO phenomena (E.T.: The Extraterrestrial, 1982), mystical realities (The Last Wave, 1977) or religious experiences (The Last Temptation of Christ, 1988) are transpersonal in their content. And films that deal with shifts in temporal and spatial reality, like Field of Dreams (1989) and Groundhog Day (1993), weave the transpersonal into the dramatic structure itself. Then there are the films which embrace the transpersonal in the visual form as well as through the subject content and dramatic structure. In films like Wim Wenders' Wings of Desire (1987) and Lawrence Kasden's Grand Canyon (1991) the camera transcends all boundaries, moving through walls and floating through the air to capture the visceral reality of these other realms. Of course these categories tend to overlap and most transpersonal films are a combination of these elements.

It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

I believe there is also a more subtle way that the transpersonal enters the cinema. There are films that move us in ways that are beyond just the stimulation of thoughts, ideas and emotions; beyond content, drama and form. These films cause a subtle shift inside us, they touch us on the level of soul or spirit. Sometimes these films deal directly with transpersonal realms; sometimes they are simple films about love and the human spirit; sometimes they are dark journeys into the underworld.

The power of these films seems to depend on the intersection of our own life's journey with the journey of the film. When this connection is made it seems as though this film was made for us. A chill moves through us and the notion of a grand design touches our awareness. In this way any film becomes transpersonal. From great works of filmic art to pop culture escapist adventures. Somehow the divine seems to be woven into the light of the movie projector. As the images and sounds dance before us, our realities and projections meet. Sometimes we are moved and entertained . . . and sometimes we are transformed.

(Originally published in Focus: The Quarterly Newsletter of the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, Fall, 1-2, 1993)

GUN

2007-08-07T14:13:00.000-07:00

GUN was created as an experiment in the application of cinematic design to capture and represent the inherent power of guns and the effects their mere presence can have on individuals. GUN is a film by Mark Allan Kaplan and was student produced at the University of Southern California's School of Cinematic Arts. GUN premiered at the Los Angeles Film Exposition in 1980.

Voice in Exile - Cafeteria Scene

2007-06-29T14:08:00.000-07:00

The Cafeteria Scene from "Voice in Exile,"
a cinematic vision-quest into the mind and heart of a stutterer.
Written and Directed by Mark Allan Kaplan

Voice in Exile - Classroom Scene

2007-06-29T14:01:00.000-07:00

The Classroom Scene from "Voice in Exile,"
a cinematic vision-quest into the mind and heart of a stutterer.
Written and Directed by Mark Allan Kaplan.

Voice in Exile - Opening Dream Sequence

2007-06-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

The opening dream sequence of "Voice in Exile,"
a cinematic vision-quest into the mind and heart of a stutterer.
Written and Directed by Mark Allan Kaplan

Transpersonal Movie Leader

2007-05-15T12:51:00.000-07:00

The transpersonal movie leader was created as an experiment in the application of cinematic rhythm and image juxtaposition to mediate an abstract conceptualization, representing the notion of transpersonal cinema.

Public domain images were edited and digitally enhanced in Adobe Photoshop, then assembled in Microsoft Movie Maker. Finished product was then converted to Macromedia Flash, Windows Media, and QuickTime file formats.

Various transpersonal practices were employed during the creation process to establish an optimum creative environment.

Featured Clips Include:

Un Chien Andalou (Bunuel, 1929)

A Clockwork Orange (Kubrick, 1971)

Wings of Desire (Wenders, 1987)

2001: A Space Odyssey (Kubrick, 1969)

An AudioVisual Meditation by Mark Allan Kaplan

Transpersonal Dimensions of the Cinema

2006-03-01T12:32:00.000-08:00

Announcing the publication of…

Transpersonal Dimensions of the Cinema

By Mark Allan Kaplan, Ph.D.

ABSTRACT: Transpersonal dimensions of the cinematic art form are explored, including transpersonal elements inherent in the nature of the cinematic medium; transpersonal influences on cinematic content, structure, and style; and potential transpersonal effects of the cinematic experience. A preliminary classification of transpersonal cinematic effects indicates potential synchronization effects between constructed cinematic reality and various aspects of creator/viewer realities. Personal filmmaker observations and a review of theoretical, empirical, anecdotal, and historical sources suggests that the transpersonal or boundary-transcending nature and capacities of the cinematic medium make it a potentially powerful and valuable tool for the mediation of transpersonal experience and perception.

Published in The Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 2005, Volume 37, Number 1, Pages 9-22.

View and Download the Complete Article at: http://www.markallankaplan.com/text/tpcinema.htm

Answering the Call of Stuttering: The Story of the Making of Voice in Exile

2004-09-18T02:56:00.000-07:00

Voice in Exile (1984)

Back in the mid-8Os, I was invited to attend the premier of a 30-minute film on stuttering that was written, directed, and produced by Mark Allan Kaplan, a graduate student at the American Film Institute. It was a remarkable accomplishment in many ways, especially in how concisely it captured the essence of the stuttering experience. The fact that it was created by a student made it even more remarkable. Since then, Voice in Exile has had hundreds of screenings... on Cable Television, at National Stuttering Association chapters, and in schools across the country. No film better communicates to the non-stuttering world what many of us have gone through; and yet, the story is uplifting and transcendent.

– John Harrison, National Stuttering Association

It was the fall of 1979 and my junior year at the University of Southern California. Professor Barbara Myerhoff entered the classroom, and began to teach us about personal and social anthropology, myths, and dreams. During one of the classes, Professor Myerhoff introduced us to the world of the Shaman, the indigenous holy person, or medicine man (or women). She explained to us that the shaman was the “expert of the injured soul” who has been called on by the spirits to heal themselves and others. This call often came in the form of a sickness that the shaman-elect would have to cure themselves of with the aid of helping spirits. Once they cured themselves by traveling between the waking world and the world of the spirits, they would have the ability to help others.

After the lecture, Professor Myerhoff asked me to walk with her back to her office. She said she was touched by my personal journal entries about my stuttering. Her voice softened to almost a whisper as she told me that it was believed that stuttering was one of the major afflictions that the spirits used to call someone to the shaman’s path. Professor Myerhoff smiled, and told me that after reading my personal writings, getting to know me in person, and being deeply moved by my films, she believed I was being called by spirit through my stuttering to heal myself and to help others.

At first I was just sort of numb. I thanked her for her insights as she went into her office. I walked around campus for a while in a daze and ended up in the courtyard of the Philosophy building. As I stared into the bubbling water of the circular fountain in the center of the gothic courtyard, my whole perception of my self began to shift. I had always seen my stuttering as this horrible and crippling handicap. Now, as I began to think of my stuttering as a challenge for change and growth from some higher or deeper source, a heaviness seemed to lift from around my heart.

Inspired by my experiences with Professor Myerhoff and my exposure to shamanism, I began to ask within for a direction or purpose. A while later, during a film project evaluation, one of my film professors said that he believed my stuttering had made me a great filmmaker. He explained that because words were so hard for me that I had found a way of speaking visually with great depth and power. Looking back at my life, I suddenly saw my creative endeavors into drawing, painting, architecture, still photography, and film as part of a great archetypal quest to communicate with others beyond the realm of the spoken word. Not long after this encounter, I received the inspiration to create a dramatic film based on my own experiences and perceptions as a stutterer. The making of this film would be a vision quest into the depths of my own psyche to uncover and share what it felt like to be a person who stutters. I sensed that the process of making this film could be healing for myself and for others, and a culmination of my creative quest to communicate.

As I began to work on the story, the idea of creating a shamanic subplot emerged. The story would be about a young stutterer who would face his fears with the help of his grandfather, a retired anthropology professor specializing in shamanism. His journey would include the waking world, dreams, symbols, and archetypes.

After graduating from USC, I attended the American Film Institute (AFI) to continue developing my craft, and to supply a creative container for the making of this film. One day the title for the film came to me in a dream. I saw myself on a lone runway. I opened my mouth to scream, but there were steel bars in my mouth. I woke up with the title: Voice in Exile.

After the first year at the AFI, I returned to my childhood home in Chicago, Illinois and spent the summer writing the screenplay for Voice in Exile. The familiar surroundings of my childhood aided in the unearthing of the emotional and psychological memories needed for the story. This entire process felt like a dream. As I descended into the darkness of my unconscious, the world around me seemed supportive and gentle. It felt as though the world was holding its breath while I journeyed within. A black bird became the helping spirit in my story in parallel with my seeing large black crows following me wherever I would go. They seemed to be my helping spirits, both within my story and in my waking life, telling me I was on the right track.

After completing the first draft of the script I returned to school, and began the process of making the film. I met with the Los Angeles chapter of the National Stuttering Association to deepen my research for the final draft of the script. This was my first group encounter with fellow stutterers and as I became aware of our shared reality, I had a deep sense of tribal homecoming. After completing the final script, we began pre-production, which included casting the actors and preparing them for the shoot. This was the beginning of my quest to train an actor to stutter. At first it was merely a mechanical process, working on the physical process of stuttering. Then came the journey into the psyche of the stutterers mind, my mind. I learned so much about my self from this process that I am still in awe of it.

Weeks later we began to shoot the film but the production process was fraught with turbulence and confusion. Communication problems arose at every turn. My mind seemed to be waging a war within me – part of me wanted to share my truths, and another part of me was terrified. Everyone who worked on the film seemed to be caught in the energy of some form of communication challenge.

When principal photography was finished, I was exhausted and burnt out. I went up to San Francisco to work with my composer, and he suggested I go to Esalen Institute in Big Sur for some rest. Driving down the California coast was calming. I drove along the winding road south of Big Sur looking for Esalen, hoping that it would be before the spot where the coast road had been closed for the past year because of storm damage. Up ahead, I saw the signs announcing that the coast road was still closed. I stopped at the roadblock, and asked a construction worker when the road would be open. He smiled and said, “Right now, you’re the first to get through.” He waved and the crew lifted the barrier. As I drove past the construction site I couldn’t help feeling as though I were being divinely guided.

I drove for a while, and finally found Esalen. Driving down the steep incline into the property, I felt an incredible sense of belonging. Even though I had never been there before, it seemed deeply familiar, like a long lost home. I went to the office and asked if they had any vacancies. They told me that I was lucky because there was only one opening left.

After checking in, I walked around the grounds in a daze, wondering what was happening to me. I found my way to the dining room, and sat at a small table by myself, eating my food, and surveying the colorful crowd. A middle aged Native American woman approached and asked if she could join me. I said sure. She smiled warmly and sat down. Looking deeply into my eyes, she told me that she was a shaman and could tell that I had just been through a very powerful creative experience that was chaotic and painful. She continued, saying that communication was the central theme. At this point, I could only stare in dismay. The woman proceeded to tell me that the creative endeavor was successful, despite the confusing nature of the experience. She told me I needed to replenish my energy by resting my body, following my intuition, and doing only what I felt like doing.

Later that evening I floated in the mineral baths under the stars wondering if I was dreaming and if my journey to share the inner life of a stutterer would have value. In the darkness beside me, a man and woman were having a conversation. The woman stuttered as she told the man “… if y-you c-could o-o-only kn-now how it fffeels.” Tears came to my eyes as the hot water penetrated my pores and her words cut through the darkness miraculously answering my hearts question.

Feeling rested and renewed, I returned to Los Angeles and finished the film. We premiered the film, and it was a great success. Stutterers and non-stutterers said they were deeply moved. The studios called me for private screenings, power lunches, and meetings. The film won many awards, and was shown at festivals across the country. Amidst all this, I was asked to show the film and speak at a national convention for the National Stuttering Association. As I stood before the crowd of several hundred stutterers, I felt like the shaman who had gone on a vision quest, and was now bringing it back to share with the tribe. I was truly overwhelmed by the response. Stutterers, their spouses, and their families expressed their gratitude for the healing the film brought into their lives.

My vision quest was complete, yet it seemed as though my journey was just beginning. I thought I would feel whole and healed, but I felt empty and naked. All my fears were exposed to the light, the trappings of fame and fortune seemed hollow, and the person I thought I was seemed like an illusion. I left Hollywood in search of my self and to continue my quest to heal my stuttering. I traveled to distant lands, explored the rituals and practices of many spiritual traditions, and became a student of eastern and western psychology. I have lived through many crises of the heart, the mind, and the spirit, as well as many physical challenges including poor health, bankruptcy and near homelessness.

During this strange and wondrous adventure I have learned how to love and how to live more fully. With the completion of “Voice in Exile” my quest to communicate through other forms beyond the spoken word shifted to a quest to find my own voice and to help others find theirs. As I look back on my journey, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for the gift of both the blessings and challenges along the way, for they all conspired toward my growth. I have discovered that stuttering can be a call to awaken and to heal the self and others; I have discovered that for true healing to occur we must work on all levels of ourselves: Body, mind, heart and spirit; and I have discovered that the journey is all there is and it is endless.

*Originally Published in Letting Go: The Monthly Publication of the National Stuttering Association, May/June, 1-10, 2002